So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
babies were throwing up all over the place
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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