Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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