There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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