hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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