Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
