it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
