I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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