My brain says no but my pants say off.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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