Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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