I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
