I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
operation have a gay friend backfired
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
