Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
