She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize