you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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