You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
