Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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