did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
