I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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