Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
