yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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