I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
