So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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