ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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