Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
