My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
