im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
