my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
