this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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