went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
