That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
