The maid of honor just puked.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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