We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
