Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
