YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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