dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
