how can u be prego again
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
