I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just blew my weed a kiss
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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