Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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