i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
