I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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