boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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