she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I puked a lego.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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