I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
