Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
