Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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