Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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