Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
