Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
