you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
