i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
